When Facing Change

 


To a survivor of any trauma, change can feel unsafe. How can we sleep with uncertainty lurking in the corners of our minds? Where do we find peace and the comfort of safe space; where is that safe space for us?

When we are silent, even for a moment, draw in a deep breath with eyes closed, then exhale gently, slowly, deliberately; we find our center—a safe space within us where we find Love in silence.

The place inside us that craves our attention. We can appreciate the moment in silence as we release all worry, anxiety, and doubt. Strength is drawn from the part of us deep within and face changes. We face them not as a survivor in those challenging moments but as a Spirit Warrior.

External and internal changes are hard enough to make for someone without a traumatic event in their life; however, many survivors of sexual assault have developed unhealthy coping mechanisms or habits that when triggered, we might feel off balance.

Recently, my awareness showed me there were feelings of being off-balance again. Feelings of uncertainty and self-doubts were noticeably creeping their way in through the doors of my mind. I was questioning everything I said or did. My response to myself was "WTF?"

It was time for a quick inventory of all the feelings. The results revealed my current emotions were all old messages from my past; my inner critics trying to keep me safe as changes in location and a way of life begin. Self-regulation tools of deep breaths (as many as I need in a day), journaling (even if it's just a thought or two), reaching out to a trusted friend in total authenticity, and grounding are my best tools to use in silencing my inner critics. There is one other tool I regularly use: self-validation of my worth.

When you read the statement, "I Am Enough/More." what do you really think it means?

For me, it's saying I am more than my story. I am not the trauma that happened, nor do the old habits define me. The me of now is not the me of then.

I am more than my past.
I am more than my feelings and thoughts.
I am capable.
I am bold and strong.
I am safe.
I am loved.

Self-regulation works. It's a vital part of trauma recovery. You can face significant changes; you can do the hard things. Trust me on this. I'm moving to a place of my choice – the first time in my life that I am choosing where I make my life. I set my intention to make this happen, and it's happening without self-sabotage this time.

Grow with Love,

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