When You Are Ready to Share

 

It takes courage to heal after sexual assault and even more to share your story. From the moment we become a survivor to the very moment we open with the first word of sharing, it's all courage. When you decide you are ready to share, how do you prepare for sharing openly? I've put together a few tips that worked for me before I made the decision to go public.

Some might think it's outrageous for a survivor of sexual abuse or domestic violence to share their story, let alone publicly. Sharing is not a decision any survivor takes lightly. Of course, no survivor is ever obligated TO share their story.

    1. Work through the ugliness first. Let all the harsh words, feelings, and anger out. Write it, speak it, work through it. We want to create healing, not more harm to ourselves by speaking in anger. It has been proven when we speak in a calm manner, we remember more and our message is well received.

    2. Know your rights to speak openly. It's unjust that we could be sued for naming our abusers, but until changes are made to the justice system on that point, it's best to not name them. However, you have the right to speak openly and in any format of your choice, to whomever and whenever and wherever you choose.

    3. Ask yourself these questions to help prepare:

      What's your goal for sharing?

      Is it for healing or to raise awareness?


      What are your concerns?

      Are you safe to share? Will there be possible retribution or safety concerns?


      What are you comfortable sharing?

      Details are not important unless they are important to the point of sharing.


      What platforms or methods are you comfortable with?

      Blogs, online journals, speaking publicly, video? It's your choice and there is no right or wrong way to share.


      What support do you have in this process?

      Find a community where your emotions can be shared in a safe environment.


      What about after ( release)?

      Be prepared for haters. Have your supports ready to help you process negative feedback.


        My final thoughts on sharing:

        • Know you don't have to share. It's your decision.
        • The haters will come. Thank them and move on.
        • Share when you are ready and only when ready. 
        • Find your words. It's not critical to concern yourself with "lingo". 
        • Never feel you need to explain! 




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