My Body is Not My Worth

My worth is not equal to my body shape, size, or weight. How I see myself no longer is based on what media splashes across my screen to sell me products that will not provide me internal healing. 


More than 90% of Americans have morphed, cut, toned, shaped, and starved their bodies trying to reach ideal images, only to continue suffering in silent shame over body image. One study conducted showed 57,000 women who held body shame disclosed sexual abuse as a child (Nurses Health Study II).

In other studies, men and women agreed they didn't enjoy the extra weight, but it felt "safe" to be heavier than comfortable. The excess weight though, wasn't as hard on their bodies as the shame surrounding the sexual abuse was. I agree – the extra weight is nothing compared to the heaviness of shame.

Millions buy into the weight loss gimmicks that if we are thin enough, shaped just right, have perfect 20 something we'll be accepted and loved.

It's not our bodies we need to address first – it's our false personal beliefs surrounding sexual abuse or domestic violence. That the abuse was our fault, or that we are bad people because it happened. The core wound needs healing before we can begin to love the vessel, which houses the beautiful soul.

For me, failed diets, extreme workouts, and eating disorders have been a part of my life – all because I saw as a bad child to have been abandoned and used for other's sexual gratification. My weight has fluctuated by 100 pounds at a time. I believed the abuse was my fault that abandonment happened because I was a bad child. Those beliefs clung to my every waking moment and remained until my core wounds began to heal.

As long as we do not love ourselves, feeling good about who we are inside, we will never accept who we see in the mirror. Today, I can look in a full-length mirror and smile. While uncomfortable with some of the weight, I've stopped believing I "should" be a size 2 and refuse to starve myself or feel shame because I had carbs. Fuck that.

Everyone has worth and is a valued, beautiful human. No matter what we wear, look like, weigh, or our age. Find your community, your tribe. Find the people who will support you on your inner journey. Don't worry about body image. You'll glow soon as enough as you heal your inner child and begin to feel the Love you hold for YOU.

Grow with Love,


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

A Piece of My Heart

Image
  I left a piece of my heart today, and though it hurt a little, I know I will be fine. The noise of the packing and moving died down, the guests leaving me to myself in the house, I made a long and slow walk around what was my home. The emotions of those few minutes alone brought a few tears mixed with smiles; permission to grieve followed by a smile as I walked through our house, tracing my fingers over the engraved marks of my grandson's growth on his door frame. I could hear the voices of early morning conversations and lunchtime chats between my husband and me while music streamed through the house. Then I caught the final glimpse of my favorite tree in the sunlight and cool fall breeze. In the last two days of preparing and packing, there were many conversations between a close friend and me. A few of those chats reminded me I know this is the way and right thing for me to do. In the past, somebody might have suspected my leaving was "running" from problems, but thi...
Read more

Hearing Brings Healing

Image
  What do you appreciate about yourself? For me, it's appreciating good feelings of the small successful moments in a day. The tools gathered in the past few months to walk through the process of disconfirmation (thank you @themylesscott ) of old messages was the best gift I have ever given myself. The trigger which presented me with startling effects last night is no longer present. Trusting the process that the feeling was temporary, I allowed myself to FEEL while sitting with it. Had I not allowed myself to process the trigger, the incident earlier today may not have resolved so quickly. An ability to hear and position myself to a level of understanding the mixed up emotions of a child because of my inner child work prevented old stories from repeating and new ones took their place. As parents, we only want to do the best we can for our children, and we are our own worst critics about our parenting skills. We become irritated, overtired, guilting ourselves when we aren't mea...
Read more

No Wrong Choices

Image
What are some of the choices that got me to where I am today?⁣ ⁣ One is to choose to share my life story, not just a story – my entire abuse filled life – with you. Before then, the choices made were grey, and well before that, they were highly questionable to my current living standards. ⁣ ⁣ Ask me what my worst choice was? None. They were all decided based on the information and tools available  to me at the exact moment. ⁣ ⁣ What this means for me is there are no regrets but for one. That regret is I didn't know Love sooner. I know it now, and that's all that's needed.⁣ ⁣ Best choice: Choosing to love me and allowing others into my life to share that Love. Loving people for who they are, not what they are or can do for me. ⁣ ⁣ They were choosing to believe people when they showed me my worth – then applying those truthful words—deciding to do the work, day in and day out, meeting myself in the process. ⁣ ⁣ I choose to trust myself repeatedly, that the choices made will a...
Read more