No Fear

 As a survivor of sexual abuse, if fear was not an issue, what would you accomplish? What would you do at this moment you have been afraid to do? Today, tomorrow, next week, in the next year?

I'm setting an intention to hold no fear, beginning with asking how I feel. There's no fear; uncertainty is present. Perhaps the difficulty is based on the unknowns ahead for my future. The question of "what if" shows up throughout the day, but it doesn't feel like fear. It feels more like old thought patterns, but I know they are just that – thoughts – and let them pass by.

Survivors of sexual violence ask that question of themselves multiple times in a day. Did you know you can change the frequency of occurrence for "what if" and similar questions we might ask ourselves? You can. I know you can. Having lived in the victim mindset more than ¾ of my life, then choosing to change my thought patterns (it saved my life), I know I can answer the question.

So what if fear nor doubt was an issue? What would you do today, right now? Would you buy the pretty top that you would have purchased before the assault? Would you lose the weight you put on after the attack or get back to taking proper care of yourself? Maybe you would go out more, talk to others more, look toward a social life. Perhaps you would follow a dream you've held silently.

Or, maybe you will do something so radical such as accepting you don't want to be who or where you are at this moment? At one time, fear wrapped around me like a sheet of ice, holding me in place. Afraid to move, think for me, questioning every thought I had about whether or not sanity existed for me. It kept me back from reaching for my dreams. What's on the other side of "what if?" Freedom.

Today, I hold no fear because I leaned into the uncertainty asking myself what was holding me back. I checked my to-do list and made the necessary arrangements to hire an over the road moving company. If fear were still a part of me, I'd be battling the bank instead, filling myself with worry and scenarios of vagabond life would be like and draining myself of all positive energy to figure a way to stay where I don't want to be. I'd never have hired the mover, stated my desires to the real estate agent, nor connected with my publisher for my book (Pre-orders start September 26!), nor made any of the other bold executive decisions I've been making this past week.

WE were assaulted, violently, and without cause. It took our dignity only for a moment, but we survived and now can step with more power than ever. What if you chose to take back your power? What are you capable of with no fear?

Grow with Love,

S




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